Oversexualization of the LGBTQ+ community

This is a very important issue in the LGBTQ+ community and it needs to be addressed.

For this second blog, I will be discussing the oversexualizing trends and tropes in the media that negatively affect the community. People falsely believe that members of the LGBTQ+ community are hypersexual and are predators. This does not only happen online, but in real life and it happens everyday. People in and not in the community need to be aware of this because it can be detrimental to a person's mentality, how they view and feel about themself. I want to shine a light on this because it is important and necessary that people know about this and media as well as people need to be held accountable for participating in this.

Oversexualization and hypersexualization affect the LGBTQ+ community in many aspects. Many people only look at LGBTQ+ relationships in a sexual way, reducing the relationship to merely sexual rather than taking into account the love, attraction, and care that they have for each other. People see it as different from the "normal" and different from them, when in reality a LGBTQ+ relationship has the same goals, connections, and love a heterosexual relationship has. An LGBTQ+ relationship is the same as a heterosexual relationship, the only difference is the same sex or gender identity aspect of the relationship.

Society is also usually hush hush and sensitive when people talk about a non cis relationship. Some members of the community don't feel safe saying that they are gay/lesbian/etc. so they substitute the gendered significant other to "partner." Sometimes members will substitute "partner" instead of "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" as a way to respect pronouns of the other (if they go by they/them) and sometimes it's a way to protect themselves from possible societal shame from others or fear of being hatecrimed. Often times when members of the community talk about a same sex relationship in public they get weird looks and are judged for even bringing it up as if it is illegal to talk about. Some people don't believe that this is a common thing in society and think that it only occurs with people that have a religious or homophobic background, but this happens in many environments, especially in schools.

When teachers talk about non cis relationships they are often told to keep their voice down around kids because it is seen as hyper-sexual and wrong. These people are trying to hide the idea of different sexualities and gender identities from children, they shelter kids from the community and pressure them into thinking anything but cishet (cisgeder heterosexual) is odd and abnormal. When in reality, kids should know and learn about the different attractions that people can have and learn about different gender identities. However as time goes on and politics gets more involved with education, it makes it extremely hard for kids to learn about the community unless their parents teach them. Recently, with new legislation it has become difficult for teachers and students to legally talk about the LGBTQ+ community in some states, but we will get into that in another upcoming blog.

Sheltering kids from the community, I believe, is wrong. The LGBTQ+ community is not hyper sexual and solely focused on the sexual aspect of a relationship, it is important to understand that the relationship has love, trust, and care just like any other form of relationship. I think that it should be taught to kids because it is important for them to have an open mind with others and be aware of what they are feeling when it comes to attractions and how to present themselves.

The community itself is not over sexual, though it is seen to be by others. The idea of hypersexuality is often pushed onto members by people from outside of the community.

Cisgender heterosexual men have been known to sexualize the idea of lesbians, thinking their relationship is "hot and steamy" and reducing their connection to solely sexual reasons. Too many men when learning about a lesbian relationship respond with "that's so hot," if they hear about a woman being gay they respond with "I can change that" or "you just haven't found the right guy." Cishet men will also make lesbian women uncomfortable often by asking how they have sex and wanting details; many men are interested in lesbian sex because it involves two females which to them is "hotter" but this extremely oversexualizes lesbians. Heterosexual males often times don't take lesbians or their relationships seriously and think of them in a very sexual way. This is mostly because of the way lesbians are portrayed in the media and the inaccurate pornography depiction of sex insisting that there is a need for a man in a lesbian interaction. This harms not only lesbians and their self image and understanding of attractions but also anyone who views it because they are conditioned to believe in the false portrayals of gay women.

Straight men not only oversexualize lesbians but gay men too. When straight and gay/bisexual men share locker rooms, often times the heterosexual men say they are uncomfortable and hope that the other "doesn't try anything." In their minds, gay men are staring and wanting to pull things on the straight man, when in reality the straight men are sexualizing the gay man and assuming their actions when it is only in their heads. Gay men actually feel more uncomfortable in locker and changing rooms settings when other straight men are around. Studies show that "40% of LGBTQ+ students across the United States avoided locker rooms because they felt uncomfortable or unsafe." Members of the community feel sexualized and unsafe in these situations, fearing that they will be hatecrimed, bullied, or singled out.

Gay men aren't just over sexualized by cisgender heterosexual men, but also cisgender heterosexual women. From being called the "GBF" or gay bestriend to having very detailed conversations with women about their love and sex life. Many gay men have encountered an experience with a heterosexual woman where they point out hot and attractive men. Some gay men are even asked to help their girl friends out with tinder matches and testing out potential future dates.

Bisexual men and women are also over sexualized in the media and especially in society. They are often asked which gender they like more or which is better for them, disrespecting their attraction for both. Bisexual individuals are often asked questions about their sexual attractions and are told to "pick a side" or "you can't like both" because people who aren't bisexual don't understand the attraction to both genders.

On social media there seems to be many sexualizing trends that occur with the LGBTQ+ community. These videos are very popular and get many views, from both people in the community and out. These include the "top," "bottom," and "switch" trend that references the sexual preference of members of the LGBTQ+ community. Similar trends of expressing sexual preference like dom and sub are very common as well as "touch me not" and "pillow princesses" are referred. These trends shouldn't be as common as they are, but they are popular to society and gain followers and views for the individuals that use the trends in their posted videos and other media.

Most people are okay with the oversexualizing of any person when they are deemed in society as being "hot." It is a very common way of portraying members of the community when trying to have representation in the media. The community has grown to be okay with the sexualization because they say "at least we are being represented" in some form, but members should be represented for their real selves, not soley on the sexual aspect and how hot they are. There needs to be more attention drawn to this issue and people need to be held accountable for its damaging effects on the LGBTQ+ community.

I do not own these images.